The Job Description of a Lyell Centre Manager
by dinabar
Summary: Set at the end of 'Awakening,' about how the three of them get out of Mexico. The flight is booked but Nikki has to regain consciousness before they can leave. Thomas and Jack have tried everything to wake her but without success. With time running out who can they turn to for help?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello my luvlies, long time no see and all that. Finally got round to watching season 20 a couple of months ago, and couldn't let Awakening go by without a bit of fanfic. This is all that we didn't see and how the three of them get out of Mexico.**

 **All characters belong to the BBC, I'm just letting them do, what we know they need to. Oh and did I mention who saves the day? Can you guess? Starts with H and ends in arry.**

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 **The Job Description of a Lyell Centre Manager**

 **Chapter 1**

Thomas Chamberlain pulled at the collar of his white shirt, he inhaled the stale air, breathing deeply to satisfy his body's desire for oxygen and shuddered. This was definitely not what he'd signed up for when he joined the Lyell.

'Nikki'

The word revolved around and around his head.

The plane juddered, he tugged his collar again and wished he was sitting nearer the front of the plane. He hated the recycled air on planes. It tasted weird, metallic, artificial. It was full of toxins too, he never travelled without picking up a cold. He looked at his watch. It was a fourteen hour flight. How long had he got left?

How long had she got left?

What was she breathing in?

Nikki.

Why?

He should have known.

Had he known?

He shrugged his shoulders, pushing his spine back into his seat, seeking some kind of comfort in the constricted space.

He'd not asked Jack how much space she'd got. Not much. More than he had? Less?

She was so small, was that an advantage?

Why her?

What had she done?

What was she doing?

He thought back to the day he'd put her in the taxi and sent her off to the airport.

He had kissed her.

What had he been thinking? She was his colleague, he was her boss. It was definitely not in the job description. More likely it was on the list of actions worthy of disciplinary procedures. It was wrong on so many levels but it had been so right, so natural. Like old friends after spending a day together reminiscing. Except they weren't old friends. Or were they? Is that what he wanted?

She'd returned the kiss. He'd felt her lips touch his skin, briefly.

He rubbed the spot on his cheek and checked his watch again.

All Jack had had to do was get her back. Had it been such a hard assignment? That was part of Jack's job description; to protect the department assets, namely Nikki. Nikki could be infuriating at times, but even when it was misguided he understood her motivation. But Jack? The way that man's brain worked was an anathema to him. How could he be such a diligent forensic scientist and yet be rolled and swayed by his emotions like that? It did not fit Thomas' own logical, contained style.

What was Jack doing now? Thomas had thought that Jack could at least have sounded grateful for all the progress he'd made in sourcing assistance from the British Consulate and local agencies. Had Jack any idea how many political wheels he'd had to grease and strings he'd pulled to get one missing British pathologist to register on anyone's radar over there? He'd worked tirelessly at it, secured genuine help that would start… He checked his watch again. Within the next twelve hours and Jack had sounded like all that effort deserved contempt and a punch in the face.

It was a long time.

Too long.

What was Jack doing?

What was he capable of doing, to get her back?

Thomas shuddered and tugged at his collar again.

Clarissa had been keeping very quiet, she'd organised all Thomas' travel arrangements for him without giving him the 'what did your last servant die of look.' He was grateful she was so amenable and took on everything that was thrown her way with the same professionalism and diligence. But he knew she was holding back on him, she was only recounting the facts of her conversations with Jack. He could see from the lines on her face that she was as worried as he was.

Why had he let Nikki go?

It was just a friend's funeral he'd told himself. People go all the time. What kind of a boss would he have been to deny her the chance to say goodbye to her friend. Luisa had been good for the department. She'd been good for Nikki. Someone for her to teach. She'd made Nikki happy. They had been good friends until Luisa had returned to Mexico, leaving Nikki alone; again.

He should have known not to let Nikki go. He should have gone with her.

Would that have been odd?

His thoughts were interrupted by a smiling member of the cabin staff.

"Are you enjoying your flight? Can I get you something to drink?"

Thomas realised how thirsty he was, the stuffy air on the flight dehydrating him.

"Water please," he requested and felt his heart constrict as he did so.

Nikki.

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 **So Thomas is not my favourite character by far, just thought it would be fun to experiment with this from his point of view. And that kiss on the cheek; that was weird… Hope you're prepared to indulge me.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

He'd slept fitfully after that, a hotch-potch of images from times they'd all been together, swirling in his mind. Laughing in the lab. Out for a drink together with everyone else. It'd never been just the two of them. As if she was always wary, distrustful… of him? Maybe just herself?

He'd know the circumstances of his appointment to the Lyell. One man's sacrifice was another man's promotion. He'd seen it very clinically at the time. He'd been prepared to work hard, really get to grips with the many facets of the role. But, oh, how she had despised him. Those looks she had given him. He'd not understood the enormity of her grief. It was only now when he'd seen the pattern repeated over and over in the time he'd known her. Love and loss, love and loss, love and loss. That he had begun to understand. Love and loss; it was all she'd ever known.

Why had he kissed her?

He wasn't the hugging kind. She was his colleague. They had reached a level of acceptance between them since those early days. But this was a step into the unknown and it made him… made him… nervous? Vulnerable? No… Fearful.

And what about Nikki?

She was buried under the ground and he was trapped in a metal box doing what? Flying in to rescue her? That definitely wasn't his job, his style, his department. What had possessed him?

The department! That was a joke. Clarissa currently was the whole department! It was a good job she was a master at what she did and could tell a smooth lie if required. He hoped there wasn't an emergency alert. It wouldn't look good to have three members of the Lyell Centre staff indisposed.

How had Leo Dalton taken them all to Afghanistan that time? How had Leo swung that? Although he suspected that once Leo had made up his mind to go, Nikki had resolutely refused to let him go on his own and Jack? Jack had been new, but for all he didn't understand about the man. Jack wasn't stupid and he would have wanted to prove himself and not be left out of the party. Had Clarissa run the show single handedly then too?

He checked his phone on auto pilot forgetting it was switched off. He put it back in his pocket and sighed. Three more hours until they landed, and three more hours until he had to turn it back on.

What would the news be?

Jack telling him, he was too late?

Or no message at all. Would that be worse?

Or yet another message from Professor Cunningham.

His voicemail would probably be full. That man was nothing if not persistent. He hadn't told him Nikki was missing. Jack certainly wouldn't have. How had he known?

He eased himself out of his seat and made his way back past the last couple of rows of seats to the toilet.

Nikki.

He stretched his cramped legs as he waited for the cubicle to become free. He tried to smile at the cabin crew, but they were all busy. He checked his watch and pulled at his collar again. He felt sick. He could feel his forehead sweating and the prickling sensation at the back of his neck.

What was he going to tell Harry? How had he even known?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Thomas had automatically buckled himself back into his seat and flicked again through the channels on his inflight screen. He clicked it off almost immediately, he never watched much TV and he was in no mood to start. He turned his head to look towards the window, the bright light cutting lines across the panelling and sighed again.

He'd done his research back in his early days at the Lyell. During those days when the hostility towards him burning from Nikki's eyes could have incinerated a water soaked fireproof blanket. He'd asked around and discovered that Leo Dalton was almost universally adored by everyone he spoke to, cleaning staff, security, peers, the top brass. No one had a bad word about him. The man was dead and in tragic circumstances but that shouldn't have stopped people speaking freely. And so he began to believe that the man was as good and kind as everyone said he was. He cut Nikki some slack, ignored those haunted dark eyes that looked at him with such hostility.

He just got on with the job, detached and diligent. That he knew all about.

Jack and Clarissa had known Leo too, but not for as long. Clarissa had gone some way to explain Nikki's behaviour to him but there were more stories. Stories from long before when Nikki had got herself in trouble and someone else had moved heaven and earth to find her and to keep her safe.

Harry Cunningham.

The one who had left and taken a post in New York.

The one who was now filling his voicemail with messages.

Had it been that good a promotion? Had he seen the department cuts coming, fallen on his own sword so that Nikki and Leo could remain together? Had something happened between them?

If he was going to make a success of the Lyell Centre job, he realised he needed to find out; so he'd looked back over the old cases but the dry facts of the reports told him nothing of what he actually needed to know. It was still just Lyell Centre folklore, not facts. He knew what to do with facts; he liked facts. It was only when he discovered the hard copy of the 'accidents at work' book that his luck changed. Here were the facts, pages and pages of them. All he had to do was read a little between the lines and even Thomas Chamberlain's limited imagination could do that.

"N. Alexander knocked unconscious in the line of duty, circumstances currently unknown, head contusions and blood loss. First aid administered by H. Cunningham and ambulanced to hospital. Ongoing amnesia." "Lacerations to left hand, circumstances unclear. H Cunningham refused hospital treatment, first aid and suturing provided by N. Alexander." The list went on and on, contusions, concussions, exposure to cyanide, kidnapping, held at knife point, held at gunpoint. The name of the first responder invariably H Cunningham or N Alexander. What a pair. It was the first thing that had made him nervous about accepting the position. The risk assessments alone would be horrific.

But as he studied the accident log he noticed that the number of accidents recorded in the book suddenly tapered off. He checked against the employment records. The dates did coincide. As soon as Harry left, the accidents and incidents diminished markedly. There was still enough to keep it interesting, "N. Alexander, taken to hospital, unconscious, smoke inhalation. First aider J. Hodgson. He had been right to be nervous. Maybe he should have quit back then, he'd felt like it after Nikki's death stares hadn't let up for three months solid.

Would he have made more of an attempt to save his marriage if he hadn't been so preoccupied with the Lyell? It would have saved him the pain he was in now. Would it have been worth it? He would never know, but he wouldn't have changed his decision, even if he had known.

He'd been so preoccupied at the beginning it was only later that he realised that Harry Cunningham's name, was never been mentioned. It was only after Nikki had run into him again at a conference in Oxford a year or so after Thomas had started, that his name began to crop up here and there. He assumed something of their old comradeship had been rekindled. Maybe it was long enough after Leo's death for them to forget their differences and stand united in a grief that was ever present but no longer raw. Something had changed. Nothing else would explain the sudden rash of phone calls from Dr Cunningham on Leo's old line. She was barely off the plane when the first one had come through.

"Just checking, Nikki Alexander's in Mexico."

Thomas had assumed he was just trying to meet up somewhere. But then the next one came in, and the next, just after he'd put Jack on a plane to go get her back. Even he hadn't been able to disguise the anxiety in his voice. He'd felt himself shudder as he'd listened to Harry's message.

"Just to let you know, nothing good ever happens when she leaves the country…"

Thomas had checked then: South Africa, Zambia, Hungary, Afghanistan and now Mexico. How had he missed that? He prided himself on the thoroughness of his work.

Why hadn't someone told him before?

Why hadn't he known?

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 **Thanks for reading, I always love a bit of feedback, good or bad.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers and readers. I especially like the love I've felt for the playmobil people. You are amazing, thank you.**

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 **Chapter 4**

The cabin crew were circulating. Preparing for landing. Thomas couldn't wait to be out of the confines of his seat and breathing natural air but at the same time, he wanted the world to stop so he would never have to emerge into the reality of the present. Is that what Harry had done in Budapest? Disappeared from it all, even from his colleagues.

Had it gone well for him?

There had been newspaper reports of that one, so he was aware of the facts. "Pathologist fakes his own death…" He had to give the man credit. He'd done a convincing job. Harry's attention to detail had been exquisite. How long had he left it? How long had he waited before letting his colleagues know he wasn't dead? What sort of a man, or what sort of circumstances could make a man do that?

And the reunion?

He tried to imagine Jack, peeling the earth away, clawing at the wooden boards in a desperate attempt to free Nikki. Pulling her up out of that sunken hell and into his arms. What would that look like? Tears? Laughter? Exhaustion? It would no doubt depend on whether she was still breathing when he got the top off that box.

'Nikki' he sighed.

He couldn't help his mind wandering back to the news reports he'd read of Harry's death. He'd let them think he was dead but the newspapers had quoted DNA identification evidence. That wasn't possible… Unless? The comparison sample the police had been given was not Harry's but the dead man's. They, Leo and Nikki or one of them must have been in on it! Knew he was really alive, but carried on with life as if he were dead. What kind of a job demanded that? Who would willingly tamper with evidence in a police investigation to protect their friend?

His limited imagination made it difficult to conceive what it must have been like. The stress that would let colleagues break laws to protect the friend who had betrayed them.

How had they let him disappear again when they had only just been reunited? It was unfathomable. He wondered if the whole event had precipitated Harry's leaving the Lyell.

But after the events of the last few days he did not need to imagine. He knew. It was reality.

Knowing that your colleague was miles away, reported missing, presumed dead and there was nothing you could do to change it.

He understood completely.

What more could he have done?

And more importantly what had Jack already done?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Thomas found himself wedged into yet another uncomfortable chair; waiting. The air was less stale, but tinged with a clinical antiseptic taste.

She was alive.

He'd not really heard anything else Jack had said. He hadn't made much sense. The phone call brief.

So Thomas had not left the city after landing. Just taken a taxi straight to the hospital. Nikki and Jack were on their way. Something about exposure, burns, dehydration.

The dehydration he understood, but exposure? She'd been under the ground. And he had no idea where the burns had come in. The cartel were burning their victims. Using it as torture. He shuddered.

He sat.

An image of her face swam into his mind. She was an attractive woman. He shuddered again.

He waited.

He didn't even know if they were arriving by ambulance. But he'd paid money to make sure a bed was ready and medics on hand, when they arrived.

Now there was nothing more he could do.

To keep himself busy he'd called Clarissa. She'd known more. Jack hadn't found Nikki. He'd found all the other missing people Nikki had become involved with. Clarissa explained what Nikki had done. But Thomas's logical but exhausted mind was not registering the full sequence or significance of the events.

Clarissa spelled it out for him.

She'd sent Jack to get the others.

She'd known the consequence.

Her life for theirs.

Thomas sighed.

Is that what she'd really wanted?

Was she just following the example of her beloved mentor?

Was she looking for a way to get back to Leo?

Had Leo ever kissed her on the cheek and put her on a plane?

Thomas scratched a hand across his face, the heat and dust and sand had irritated his skin. It felt dry, itchy.

All Clarissa knew was that Nikki had freed herself and then been picked up somehow by a driver from the cartel. She'd been flung out of the moving car half dead to land at Jack's feet as he stood at the front of the mission.

Thomas felt cold despite the heat.

Something must have been done, that he knew nothing about.

What had made the cartel of all people, be the ones to bring her back?

Jack?


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

He didn't have time to think more because at that moment Jack himself burst through the doors with Nikki in his arms. He looked terrible. Behind him was another man, tirelessly holding an IV bag above his shoulder. Had he done that throughout the journey?

But Nikki.

Well he had to assume it was Nikki. The build was right, clothing possible. Hair a match. But the skin of her arms was blistered and red. Her face swollen.

"Jack!" Thomas exclaimed.

He saw his colleagues eyes whirl about, unfocused, uncomprehending.

"Thomas?"

He jumped to his feet.

"You have to help her…" Jack began.

"I've got a room, they're waiting for her," Thomas replied his voice calm despite his emotion. "What happened to her?"

Jack looked about nervously then surveyed Thomas with a critical eye as if he were about to transfer Nikki into his arms. But if that's what Jack had considered, he didn't go through with it and continued to carry her along the corridor in the direction Thomas indicated.

"I don't know…" Jack mumbled.

"I don't know!" he exclaimed louder as he gently laid her down on the bed. "She was barely conscious when she was returned. I can't get any sense from her. She talks occasionally but…" He broke off. He'd been able to do nothing for her; nothing. He had failed.

"I…" he began.

But Thomas held up his hand to silence him. "You've got her here now. That's all that matters. She's alive."

Without Nikki to hold on to, Jack was suddenly at a loss. He paced the room, balling his hands into fists.

"Barely!, The dehydration, she could go into organ failure at any minute. She's…"

"She's got this far. She won't give up now." Thomas said directing his words to Jack as he paced behind him, but all the time studying his colleague.

"Why did she lie to me?"

"Jack, she had her reasons. We need to focus. I need you to help her now."

"What can I do?" he said sullenly. "I can't help her."

"Just look!" Thomas growled and he leaned forward to study the evidence of her injuries to explain what could have happened to her. "Nikki? Can you hear me? You're going to be ok. You're safe now. We've got you back and the doctors are here to look after you."

Nikki turned her head.

Had she heard?

"Nikki?" Thomas half whispered and felt Jack stop still behind his shoulder.

"I knew he'd find me." Nikki whispered, her voice dry and hoarse. "Harry always finds me."

Jack doubled over and fled the room but despite the distance Thomas could still hear him retching.

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 **A weekend treat of a bit more, just because you've all been so lovely. Thanks**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks so much for the reviews and smiles… I like the way that pretty much none of us like Thomas and now we're all feeling sorry for him. Strap yourselves in, this one's a long one.**

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 **Chapter 7**

He'd not got much more out of Jack when he'd returned. He looked like an animal in a wildlife documentary who had just had the prey he'd so painstakingly tracked and killed ripped away from him and eaten by something bigger than he was. There weren't many animals bigger than Jack. He'd turned green again when Thomas asked if Harry really was in Mexico.

"I don't know," he'd replied gruffly. "He's not here now, is he?" But, Thomas noted that Jack had not had to ask who Harry was. Perhaps Jack had done his research too.

"She's delirious, she doesn't know what she'd saying," Thomas said kindly. "Who knows where she is in her head?"

He pulled up a plastic chair and sat beside her bed.

"You might feel better for a rest." He suggested to Jack, who was still pacing the room.

The noise Jack returned was half scoff, half howl. None of it sounded like it agreed with Thomas suggestion.

"Sit down Jack." Thomas insisted. "And tell me what you did."

Jack stopped pacing.

oOo

It had seemed to Thomas that he'd spent the last two days in an uncomfortable chair, sat by her bedside doing nothing but waiting. That's what it felt like, but if he considered carefully it wasn't entirely true.

There had been different chairs and they hadn't all been at her bedside. Sometimes he'd wanted the time to go faster and at other's he'd needed it to slow to a stop.

The chair at the police department had been particularly uncomfortable. After learning the truth of what Jack had done, he'd spent the next four hours with the police sorting it out. He'd managed to persuade them to let Jack stay in the country for the next couple of days before they could all take a flight home together. But it was made very clear that Jack would not be welcome to return.

Jack had no intention of ever returning to Mexico and not being wanted by the police, only went some way to deal with his guilt over his actions. He wasn't sorry El Buitre was dead, but he couldn't bear the fact that he'd been used. Set up. Betrayed. And what had he to show for it? Failure.

Nikki was back.

But everything she'd done, she'd done alone.

Who had helped her?

All Jack had had to do was bring her home. He should have picked her up kicking and screaming and put her on a plane the minute he'd arrived. Is that what he'd have done, had he come himself and not sent Jack? She wouldn't have listened to him anymore than she'd listened to Jack. Or would she? He was the boss after all. It was her job to do what he told her to do.

The chair next to Nikki's bed, Thomas decided was slightly better than the one at the police department, but worse than the one at the airport where he'd spent more hours waiting, securing them all a flight back. He hadn't dared let Jack out of the confines of the hospital. It wasn't good to have the sort of enemies Jack had and parade around in public. Thomas had only managed to get an indirect flight, but it was the quickest way to get Jack out of Mexico. He didn't care where they had to land or change planes. That had been the only way of securing three seats and allowing Nikki some recovery time.

He didn't even want to recall the chair at the British Consulate. That was just humiliating.

The doctors had indicated that Nikki would be well enough to make the journey, as long as she received proper medical attention on reaching the UK, or if the first flight was too much; at the changeover point. It was the doctors who seemed to be the most eager to be rid of them all, their only stipulation was that Nikki had to regain consciousness and more than just fleetingly.

Thomas looked into her face, the blistering had subsided a little. Who? He thought. Who else could end up with sun poisoning after spending who knew how long buried under the ground? It made sense though, her euphoric after escaping; washing away the dirt and basking in the sunshine. Her fair skin hadn't stood a chance.

She'd been slightly more lucid on the couple of occasions she'd woken up. Although Thomas feared that if she regained enough memory of her ordeal, her ability to sleep and heal would evaporate. So wherever she was in her head, he was happy she stayed there whilst it gave her the ability to rest and recover.

Luisa and her father had dropped in and bought them food, stayed a while.

He'd talked to Clarissa. Her straight talking was just what he needed to hear. It was Clarissa who'd pieced together the story of Nikki escaping her tomb and wanting to wash everything away in the sea. But the combination of sun, salt sand and dehydration had been too much for her body to cope with.

Even Clarissa was not theorising on the damage to her mental state.

He'd left Harry a message. He'd made sure to ring at a time that Harry would never have been at the office. That; and he couldn't let Jack overhear who he was talking to.

Jack was more of a worry to him than Nikki. Where Nikki was unconscious, Jack in contrast was still on hyper alert. Thomas was sure that Jack had slept for less time than Nikki had been conscious in all the time they had been at the hospital. He couldn't speculate on the time before he arrived, but he knew he wouldn't have rested whilst Nikki was missing. He wasn't sure how his body could take the punishment. But then knowing Jack, that's exactly what he was doing. Punishing himself in a way the police and certainly Nikki wouldn't.

"Why won't she wake up?" Thomas was startled by Jack's question.

"Why don't you sleep?" Thomas retorted. But then he put his hand on Jack's shoulder. "She will wake up soon."

"She's going to have to. We're running out of time."

"She'll wake up soon. I'm sure," Thomas said as authoritatively as he could manage.

"Is that going to be worse?" Jack asked sagely.

The two men both looked at their colleague. She was a tower of strength, but they'd both seen her after Leo's death. For all her toughness, there was a part of her so fragile and so close to the edge that they wondered how carefully she had to tread to keep the balance. Her skin was healing, fading to a seemingly healthy tanned glow but inside? It wasn't going to be good.

"Nikki!" Jack called. "We're all supposed to be going home tomorrow. You need to wake up!"

Nikki didn't stir. Jack turned and kicked his foot hard into the wall. A cloud of dust appeared but fortunately no hole. Rebuilding a hospital was not high on Thomas' list of reparations. He'd spent enough time grovelling to people in authority this week.

"Take a walk, Jack," Thomas suggested. "Just don't break anything!" He called after him as Jack stalked off up the hallway.

Nikki still hadn't woken on Jack's return. As much as the doctors couldn't wait to be rid of them, even they weren't prepared to put Nikki on an international flight without confirming at least a rudimentary level of health for the journey.

"Try again!" Jack insisted. "You're her boss, can't you shout at her, do something that will get her attention back?"

Thomas shook his head.

"She's never done what I've told her to. And I certainly don't intimidate her."

"Then who?"

"Luisa? Clarissa? She may be scared of Clarissa…" Jack mused.

Thomas shook his head and checked his watch. They were running out of time. He and Jack would have to leave. It was one of the conditions that Thomas had spent all those hours negotiating. And he really didn't want to leave Mexico without Nikki.

"There may be someone who could get through to her…" Thomas said quietly.

"Who?" Jack almost jumped down his throat. He checked the look in Thomas' face. "Oh!" he said backing away.

And then almost immediately walked straight up to the bed and shouted.

"Nikki, please you have to wake up. We are trying to get out of here and you have to be awake. WAKE UP!"

There was no response, Jack whirled round, his fists balling and punched the air.

"Call him," he growled and began to pace again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

It hadn't taken long for Thomas to explain to Harry what they needed. If he really thought about it, Harry had actually offered to talk to her, before Thomas had even made the request. All Harry had said was "I need to see her," and arranged a face time call and reconnected.

"I need to see her," he repeated as Thomas held the phone above her. "Properly!" Harry insisted. It was Jack who had taken the phone from Thomas' grasp and slowly moved it across her face, neck, tracing the path with the phone that the eyes of a pathologist making a preliminary examination would take. Thomas was surprised he hadn't realised what Harry had wanted. It was the first thing he'd done, when Jack had brought her into the hospital.

"Fingernails," demanded Harry and Jack dutifully moved the phone. "Back a bit," shouted Harry on the speaker phone. "Stop, slower… Move on."

"Turn her hands face up," Harry commanded. It was Thomas' turn to lean in now and turn her hands palm up. "Left arm," continued Harry. "Not just the hand… up past the elbow…"

Jack moved the phone across to her right arm.

"I don't need to see that one," Harry called out as Jack moved the phone across her torso. Thomas looked, there was a marked difference between her arms; one bruised and scratched, the other just with a few expected grazes. Thomas swallowed. He'd not even noticed before. Had they even looked properly? He hated this fog in his brain. Why couldn't he think clearly?

"Feet!" Harry called and Jack moved again, whilst Thomas rearranged the covers. "OK done,"

Thomas pulled the sheet back up over her body, tucking it in tightly as Jack continued to hold the phone above. Almost immediately Nikki's head began to move, and her eyes moved behind her eyelids.

"Her blood pressure is going through the roof!" Jack exclaimed, looking at the monitor next to her bed.

"Untuck that sheet!" screamed Harry from the phone. "It's too tight, she's restricted." Thomas yanked at the sheet and left it lying lightly across her legs. Almost immediately Nikki stilled and Jack watched as the numbers on the monitor decreased. There was a static-y noise from the phone but it could have just been Harry exhaling.

"You two alright there?" Harry asked. Neither man responded.

"Turn her head on its side and put me on the pillow next to her," Harry instructed. Thomas lent forward, but lost his nerve and took the phone from Jack.

"You do it," he begged.

Even Jack hesitated. But gently moved her shoulders and tilted her head towards the phone.

Their jobs accomplished they both stepped back. What was Harry really going to achieve that the two of them had not already tried in the intervening hours. If Jack couldn't wake her, and he'd shouted loud enough to be heard two blocks away, what could Harry realistically achieve? But as both men looked at their colleague, with a phone resting next to her on the pillow, they both knew this was their last chance.

Thomas thought the connection had gone down. He'd not heard a thing, and then just barely audible. He heard the lightest whisper.

"Nikki."

And then a pause.

"Nikki!" a lighter whisper. What was Harry thinking? This would never work. Thomas inwardly kicked himself, they should have told him all the ways they had tried to get her to come round. Jack's shouts could have woken the dead, a light whisper would get them nowhere. Jack was right, they should have kept this between the two of them.

"Nikki, It's Harry." Still no response. Not even a twitch. Thomas felt the wry smile on Jack's lips without even looking for it. Harry was no magic man after all.

"Nikki! It's Harry…. Nikki. I need your help." Harry whispered.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Nikki! It's me Harry. Please help me!"

Immediately Thomas realised that Harry did know exactly what he was doing. He'd done the one thing that neither of them had tried and oh how they'd tried. What really made Nikki Alexander tick? What could she not resist even when at death's door herself?

Someone in trouble.

Better yet, someone she cared about it trouble.

This man really did know.

"Nikki! Help me!" Harry whispered again, but slightly louder this time. They all saw her eyelids flicker. They didn't open but there was a change, and according to the monitors her pulse began to quicken.

Jack stepped back, Thomas could feel his frustration, it filled the room, his anger growing by the second. It had happened again! Jack had agreed to let Thomas contact Harry, in the same way that he'd agreed with Eva to do anything to get Nikki back. But he liked this even less than being used to stage El Buitre's release and subsequent death. He was powerless again and this time it was Harry usurping his rightful role.

"Nikki, I need you to remember something for me." Harry continued.

"U'mm sleepy," Nikki rasped. Her eyes still shut fast.

"Get her something to drink," shouted Harry and Thomas carefully held a cup with a straw to her parched lips.

"I know you're tired Nikki, but I just need you to think. You don't have to do anything, but I need you to remember something for me."

Thomas leaned in closer, he could feel Jack's breath on his shoulder, neither man knowing what would come next. Nikki had spent all that time remembering. She'd remembered the one toxin that had freed Luisa and the others…

"I need you to help me remember if we made love more times on Leo's sofa or in the cutting room?" Harry continued his voice silky smooth. Thomas jerked backwards in shock, away from the conversation, and straight into Jack. It wasn't just anger now, jealousy, rage and disgust all coming to join the party of emotions kicking around in Jack's soul.

"Come on Nikki, you must remember. Have another drink and then tell me. Although I'm thinking about the locker room now, and how hot it got in there."

Nikki's eyes still hadn't opened, but there was no doubt she was nearer consciousness than she had been since she arrived.

"Come on Nikki, we were so great," Harry cooed.

"Har.." Began Nikki, and despite the topic, neither man could help but lean in again.

"Good girl Nikki. Come on, you can do it. Remember it's Harry and I need your help. Where did we make love the most Nikki? Leo's office? Cutting room? Locker room? Car park?" Thomas glanced across at Jack from the corner of his eye, but Jack had seemingly quashed the maelstrom inside and now his expression was giving nothing away.

"You.." Nikki began.

"Yes! Go on Nikki you can do it." Harry encouraged.

"You're an idiot Harry Cunningham!" Nikki enounced clearly, a testy note to her voice as if wakened early on a day she wasn't on call. "We never made love in the Lyell, why are you waking me up to talk about your perverted little fantasies? I'm really tired Harry!"

* * *

 **Ho ho ho. Hope you're still enjoying. I might even slightly feel sorry for Jack too…**


	10. Chapter 10

**Oh and just because I'm so proud of it, check out the teenie tiny phone on Nikki's pillow in the picture! Thanks for all the reviews, each one genuinely cherished.**

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

Neither, Thomas or Jack heard what Harry had to say next, their relief exploded in a soup of hysterical laughter, shock and even an unexpected tear. But despite her words, Nikki's eyes remained tightly shut.

"I know you're tired Nikki, you can sleep later I promise, but I need you to wake up now. Thomas and Jack are here to take you home, but you need to wake up."

"No, they're not," came back Nikki's sneering and incredulous voice. "Why are you being so stupid today Harry?"

"Just today?" asked Harry flippantly. "Thomas and Jack are with you, you just have to open your eyes, Nikki." Harry explained.

"They're not here," Nikki countered. "Jack hates me. He'll never speak to me again."

"Jack doesn't hate you Nikki. Do you Jack?!" Harry shouted assuming the men were there listening in. He knew if the situation had been reversed that's where he would have been.

Jack opened his mouth, but suddenly he was lost for words. The words that had flowed so smoothly all the time she was under the ground had dried up. Now she was right there in front of him and he didn't know what to say.

Every thought, every action of the last few days had been to get her back. And then when he thought he'd lost her… He knew he had failed. Knew her time had run out and the hope he had clung to was futile. All he had left was his sense of abject failure and consuming pain. Whenever he closed his eyes he just felt panic, his chest constricting as if he were the one suffocating under the ground. He'd not closed his eyes since. Thought he never would.

Until he'd heard that screech of brakes. And a dull thud as her body had hit the sand.

"I don't…" Jack began. But what did he think? He didn't even know. Maybe she was right. Maybe right now, he did hate her, she exasperated him. She'd lied to him, deliberately misled him and he? Well he'd lied to her too, but that was what he had been supposed to do wasn't it? It had been to keep her calm, preserve her oxygen. To keep her sane, distract her from considering the possibilities.

And now here she was, back of her own accord and he should have felt happy, relieved. But he didn't. He just felt?

Numb?

Sick?

Guilty.

"I…" he stuttered again.

But Nikki clearly wasn't hearing. "You don't even know Jack," she continued. "You don't know what he's like, that man can hold a grudge. It's a shame I've made him hate me…" she tailed off. "He was a good friend," she said wistfully.

"He still is your friend and he doesn't hate you Nikki. He thought you were dead and now you're not. You of all people know what that feels like. I shouldn't have to remind you of that."

Nikki's voice took on a cold tone. "Don't talk about it Harry. We never really talked about it then. I don't want to now."

"We didn't need to talk Nikki. You don't need words to tell someone you love them."

Nikki made a harrumphing sound. Thomas tried to give her another drink, but she turned away from the straw. The joking Harry, hadn't surprised Thomas, although he wasn't keen on his choice of subject matter. He'd gleaned that much when he'd talked to other staff members at the Lyell, in his original research mission to find out about Leo. But this Harry was different, this one sounded so sad and so serious. That Harry hadn't been mentioned. That was the Harry that only the very few got to see.

"Come on Nikki, I haven't told you anything new. Back then in Budapest; lying to you and Leo was the hardest and the stupidest thing I've ever done. If I could change it, I would. But I knew how I felt long before that, it never changed how I felt about you. It just assured me that you felt it too."

"And then you left!" accused Nikki.

"I did Nikki. And that we did talk about. And you know why." Thomas hoped this line of conversation would continue, he still hadn't figured out what would have made Harry choose to leave, it didn't seem to make any logical sense. Hadn't he just confessed to being in love with her? He flicked his eyes across to Jack, and then looked pointedly at the stack of recycled receptacles for vomit on a side table. Cleaning up sick was definitely not in his job description and Jack was getting paler by the minute.

"Do you think Jack will leave me?" Nikki asked.

"I don't know, Nikki. You could ask him yourself if you woke up fully."

"How did you get to Mexico?" Nikki asked, but her words were becoming indistinct, as she began to give in to her body's tiredness. Thomas watched as the monitor recorded the slowing of her pulse again.

She was drifting away. Harry would have to think of something else to grab her attention and quickly.

* * *

 **Lots of references to Bloodlines throughout this, don't think it deserves a spoiler alert after all this time... It was series 14 if you need background.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"Come on now Nikki! You were helping me. I need your help. You're not going to leave me are you?" Harry asked.

Thomas winced. For the first time he felt a new sense of admiration for Leo Dalton. Had this been what the two of them had been like? Bickering like siblings, knowing each other so completely and emotionally manipulating each other to suit their own needs. How had Leo put up with it for all those years?

"You know how you felt in that box, helpless, stuck, just waiting for someone to get you out..."

Thomas was the first to notice the change in the stats on the monitors. "Be careful Harry!" He warned. Nikki's head began to move side to side, but she didn't reply.

"You felt trapped, didn't you? You wanted to get out…"

"Harry stop!" Nikki gasped. Struggling for air despite the size of the room.

"Nikki listen to me. Thomas, Jack and I are trapped. We're all here in this room and none of us can leave until you open your eyes and wake up! We're stuck here Nikki, just like you were. You are the one who can help us. We need to leave Nikki. Our time is running out. If you don't wake up properly soon and open your eyes, then we will miss our plane, and we will have to leave you here. You need to open your eyes Nikki!"

"But I can't!"

"Why can't you Nikki? You're not that tired. Eyelids only weigh a couple of grams. Come on Nikki, do it for me. Come on. Please?"

"I can't Harry, I won't. Why are you being so annoying today? Even Leo wasn't this annoying. He was at least helpful."

"Leo was helpful?" Harry asked. Thomas and Jack exchanged a look.

"It was Leo who remembered about the tetracynadine, he explained the toxology and the trade names. He was quite chatty. And then all of a sudden he turned his back on me, kept telling me to go back, but I didn't know where to go back to? I had nowhere to go. I wanted to follow him. I tried Harry, I chased after him; he pushed me away. I TRIED!" A new note of realisation coloured the tone of her voice. It was clear to the men listening that wherever she had been, her memories were settling, drifting into piles of reality and fantasy.

"Harry? I wanted to be with him. I wanted it over with. Harry! The waiting was awful." Nikki's pulse was racing, her voice thin and thready. Thomas instinctively reached out and held her hand, but even though he had hold of her hand physically he could feel that new closeness that they had recently established start to slip through his fingers.

"Ssh, Nikki. It's ok. I know Nikki, I know what you did." Harry soothed. "I saw. What did you find: rusty nail? Bit of wood? You didn't make a very good job did you?" Harry now scoffed.

"Don't laugh at me!" Nikki cried.

"I'm not laughing at you Nikki. Listen to me. I know you Nikki. If you had really tried, you and I both know you'd have gone for the brachial artery in the elbow. Far more efficient, you'd have bled out in minutes even with a rusty nail, so don't beat yourself up. You are a survivor Nikki Alexander. Leo knew that; that's why he wouldn't let you follow him. You did it Nikki. You survived."

"I miss him, Harry."

"I know, I miss him too."

There was silence for a moment. Thomas offered Nikki another drink, but her eyes remained shut fast. He checked his watch. They were running out of time, she was on her way back but despite his hold on her hand she was still too far out of their reach.

* * *

 **Apologies for the drug name, it's as close as I could make out, but either my hearing's failing or it's not a real name as I couldn't find it anywhere. If anyone is clever enough to give me the correct spelling, I'll be very grateful.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"That's enough now Nikki," Harry said authoritatively. You want to go back to London don't you? The others are safe. You did what you came here to do. It's time to go home and then you can sleep. Thomas and Jack will help you, but you have get up."

"I can't Harry."

"Why can't you Nikki?" there was a hint of exasperation or exhaustion creeping into Harry's voice.

"Because when I open my eyes, you won't be there, and neither will Leo. I'll be on my own and for all I know, I'll just be back in that box." The tears began to slide down her face, Jack began to pace again. "And if I open my eyes now, I know I will never be able to close them again. I'll forever be back in that box. I won't sleep again. I'll…"

"Nikki! I am here Nikki, I'm on the phone but you can see me. Open your eyes and you will see me. I can help you."

"You're not real!" Nikki said emphatically. "I'm all alone." Her chest began to rise and fall sharply as she hyperventilated.

"You are not alone Nikki! Not now. Not then. Even in that box, Jack was with you!" Jack stopped pacing and stared open mouthed. Thomas could see his confusion. In the space of the last few minutes he'd had to listen to Harry make jokes about his sexual fantasies, were they just fantasies? Chastise Nikki for ineffectual suicide techniques, tell her he loved her and now listen to him big up Jack's own part in the disastrous last days despite knowing little of what went on. Did he have Clarissa's number? Thomas wondered.

"I know what happened Nikki, he talked to you didn't he. Wasn't it him that kept you sane? Listen Nikki. Hear his voice in your head, let it calm you now as it did then." Harry waited for her breathing to return to normal. "Now listen Nikki. Jack is here. He's going to talk to you. He's there with you and with Thomas."

"Thomas is here?"

"I'm here," Thomas said gently, squeezing her hand and nudging Jack.

"Nikki, it's Jack, I'm so sorry. I'm…" He didn't know where to look, what to do, what to say. Angrily he scrubbed away another stray tear."

"I'm glad you lied to me Jack." Nikki spoke softly.

"I'm not glad that you lied to me!" Jack exploded back, anger and relief colouring his words.

"I'm sorry Jack. I had to do something. Make something meaningful, something..."

"It doesn't matter Nikki. You're back, but we need to get out of here. You need to get up. You need to help us Nikki." Jack finished. He wasn't too proud to learn from the master.

"I'm not in that box am I?" Nikki asked her voice wavering.

"You're not in that box anymore." Harry assured her, taking the lead again. "But you must promise me that you will get help Nikki. You will need help to get past this. Promise me that you'll see someone."

"Harry?" Nikki whined.

"Promise me!" Harry commanded.

"I promise," Nikki agreed.

"It will be helpful Nikki… I know you're not keen on medication but you will need to talk."

"Those Yanks have converted you then?" Nikki asked.

Thomas and Jack exchanged looks again. Just when they thought they were following the conversation, it seemed to take a sudden turn, with no way for them to keep up. To confuse matters further, they could hear someone in the background. An insistent voice, repeating something over again, but hard to make out.

"It was you who suggested it!" Harry countered.

*Abi Harry, Abi Harry!*

"I told you, you should try and assimilate." Nikki insisted.

"Which I did!" Harry replied.

"By getting a therapist!" Nikki shouted.

"This is New York!" Harry shouted back.

*Abi Harry!*

"I knew you weren't real," Nikki pouted.

"And I told you, I was on the phone, now open your eyes, there's someone here who wants to say hello to you too. I've told her what a good friend you are and how beautiful you are and she can't see that if you won't open your eyes. It's time Nikki. I'm right here. Open your eyes!"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry for the wait… Thanks again to everyone reading and especially to those reviewing. I loved the amount of exclamation marks after that last chapter!**

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

Thomas saw the flutter first, Jack was too busy looking into the phone, to see who on earth Harry wanted to introduce Nikki too? Surely the man wouldn't parade a new girlfriend, not after what he'd just said? Would he?

"Hello Nikki," came a high pitched, heavily accented voice. It wasn't sounding much like a girlfriend. More like… No…

"Come on Nikki, where are your manners? Say hello."

Even Harry could see the effort she was making.

"Come on Nikki," Thomas whispered.

There was silence, Nikki's body became absolutely still, all but her eyes; they opened, took in a sweep of the room, her colleagues and then came to rest on the small screen beside her.

"Morning sleepyhead," Harry greeted her.

"Oh, don't go back to being annoy…" But Nikki didn't finish her sentence, she breathed in sharply.

"Oh Harry! She's beautiful!" Nikki exclaimed. "Hello Amira, pleased to meet you."

"Hello" the screen said again in the same heavy accent as before. "Me, Amira."

"Her papers are due to come through in the next week or so. We'll be able to visit Mum soon," Harry chattered excitedly. She's learning more English every day and we spend a couple of hours a week at a special Arabic play centre at NYU. She plays and I do language lessons. Maybe when we're in London, we could pop in and say 'hi, As – Salaam – Alaikum,'" he said proudly.

"Abi Harry!" Amira chuckled, rolled her eyes and quietly corrected his pronunciation.

"I'd like that Harry." Nikki agreed.

It was Jack's turn to stare at Thomas nonplussed now. What was going on? Whoever she was, Nikki had heard of her before. She knew her name, but they had clearly never met, never even seen each other. The girl didn't even speak English. It didn't make sense.

"What does she call you?" Nikki asked.

Thomas and Jack couldn't help themselves. They both took a step forward.

"Abi Harry - Daddy Harry!" he replied proudly. "Now if you ever want a chance of meeting Amira, you need to get out of that bed and get on a plane back to London. Can you do that for me?"

Nikki looked around her.

"With a bit of help from my friends." Nikki agreed looking at the two men standing smiling by her bedside.

"That's good Nikki. You're doing really well." Harry encouraged.

"Nikki, pretty," the little voice said.

"Thomas!" Harry called loudly. Thomas picked up the phone, reducing the volume as he did so. He had a feeling that Harry wanted to talk privately and he wanted a good chance to look at the owner of the other voice. Jack meanwhile helped Nikki to sit up and got her to take another sip of water. Thomas watched the two of them stare at each other, saw Nikki mutter what he took to be an apology and Jack pull her into his chest.

"When you get back to London, I don't care what you do or how you do it, but you take her passport and you lock it up somewhere and you don't let her have it back!" Harry commanded.

"Then she won't be able to visit you?" Thomas stared at the screen and the dark haired, light eyed little girl with luminescent olive skin, sat in Harry's lap.

"I told you before, nothing good happens when she leaves the country. Just keep it, and make sure she gets help."

"We'll look after her Harry." He looked up, Nikki was still buried in Jack's shoulder. They were both completely still and silent as if the world had suddenly stopped and left them frozen together.

"I know you will." Harry agreed.

Thomas looked at the two of them still, motionless in time, space and silence. Getting the two of them back to London was relatively easy. Getting them both back to full health and fit to work. It would be his hardest job yet.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Despite being exactly the same size, the plane seat Thomas sat in on the flight out of Mexico, seemed luxurious and spacious in comparison to the inbound flight. Maybe he was smaller, he'd probably lost a few pounds in sweat and worry. They'd been the last ones to board the plane. But they'd made it. And Nikki had remained conscious throughout the journey to the airport and check in. Thomas knew she was feeling rough when she'd consented without argument to using an airport wheelchair. She was asleep now, or so it looked, her head resting on Jack's shoulder.

He was worried about Jack, he'd barely been able to speak. Didn't seem to be able to look Nikki in the eye. Thomas had watched Nikki reach out to him, apologise again for sending Jack after the others. But whereas Nikki may have forgiven Jack, it was clear that it would be a long time before he would be able to forgive himself.

Jack had somehow squeezed his enormously long legs into his seat area but even now with Nikki beside him, Jack wasn't sleeping, he had his eyes closed, his cheek gently resting on Nikki's head but Thomas could sense the alertness behind his eyes. He'd been betrayed, they'd both been betrayed by the ones closest to them. It was the first time that Thomas sensed that Jack was afraid. Thomas sighed. He'd been so preoccupied with getting Nikki back and on the plane, he'd not really considered the long term consequences. Nikki would need help. She'd promised Harry, she'd find help and Thomas knew the department had the resources to help her. But Jack? He would probably need more help than Nikki. But would he accept it? Thomas doubted it.

And what of Harry? Thomas had texted him a thank you and told him that they'd made the plane. But there was so much more to understand there. Who was the girl? Why had Harry left when he clearly adored Nikki as much as they all did? Had something made him leave?

Aware of movement, Thomas looked across to Jack, his head now upright, eyes scanning the rows. His body still to preserve Nikki's pillow. And then Thomas understood. Jack was afraid… Jack! That man was invincible but even he had run out of time.

Thomas thought back to all those entries in the accident book, all those times when Harry had arrived in the nick of time to save her. He must have considered what would happen when his luck ran out? When he was too late? When he didn't know how to find her? One look at Jack and he knew exactly what that looked like. Had Harry been afraid too? He'd have been aware of the statistics. And Thomas had seen it himself, the frequency of entries, the blundering risky behaviour that put her in danger in the first place, she wasn't half so gung-ho after Harry left. The reports tailed off until Jack appeared to take over as first aider, and that had been months after Harry had left. Harry had known she'd be more careful without him there, that was without doubt one of the reasons he had chosen to go. Their relationship made them vulnerable. The vulnerability that love caused, had come up again and again in the last few days. Louisa and Ernesto had proved that; Eva had been killed because of it.

Thomas couldn't help a disbelieving chuckle escape his lips. All this time and he'd assumed it was Leo who had led the way in self-sacrifice at the Lyell. But Leo had not started the trend. That had been Harry, moving away to save the department finances, he was smart enough to realise that the promotion and pay rise he deserved was unaffordable for LSSE and his leaving would put Nikki in line for promotion and make her take more care of herself. She would have to think twice about putting herself in danger when he could only be her guardian angel from afar. Leo had only continued the theme, allowing himself to be killed so that the others might live.

And Nikki? Sending Jack off in the wrong direction, saving the many instead of herself. He understood now. And he understood all the phone calls Harry had left in an attempt to make sure she was safe. As soon as Harry knew she was chasing off to foreign parts, Harry understood that her self-destructive streak had regained the upper hand. So he'd stepped back in, it all made sense. The only surprise was that he hadn't turned up in Mexico in person. There was that comment of Nikki's about Harry finding her; but she'd been delirious. No one else could have woken her up though.

Well maybe it was good that Harry had come to the rescue one last time. Would it be the last time? Thomas wondered. He would follow Harry's advice and keep her passport. It would have a number of benefits; it would keep Nikki in the country and out of trouble and stop the incessant phone calls from Professor Cunningham, it would also keep Nikki with Jack and himself. Win win in Thomas's eyes.

Except of course there was the issue of the connecting flight.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

The flight wasn't direct.

It hadn't bothered him before. He'd only registered it as they boarded the plane. Stop-over in New York in… he checked his watch.

Five hours.

Harry had only told him to confiscate her passport when she got back to London. She could take a later flight, break the journey, stay in New York, recuperate with an old friend? For all his annoyance and persistent phone calls, he clearly was a good friend to her. And right now Nikki needed friends. He looked down the row to Jack. He was staring straight ahead, his teeth gnawing the inside of his cheek…

Jack was in no position to look after anyone but himself and Thomas wasn't holding high hopes for his chances of success.

Maybe New York would do her good?

Nikki turned in her sleep, sitting bolt upright and then relaxing back down into the seat. This time resting her head on Thomas' shoulder.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused," Nikki mumbled.

"You're forgiven," said Thomas, placing an almost imperceptible kiss on the top of her head. "Go back to sleep." Thomas suggested.

"I'm not sleeping," Nikki said quietly.

Thomas' heart sank. Both of them. He'd have to get in some locums. The department was going to be a disaster.

"Nikki?" Thomas asked.

"Hmm," Nikki responded.

"Just one question?"

"Yes?"

"You said Harry found you."

"That's not actually a question…" Nikki retorted.

Thomas sighed and felt another wave of admiration for Leo Dalton wash through him.

"When did I say that?" Nikki asked.

"When Jack first brought you into the hospital. You were barely conscious. But you said, 'Harry always finds me.'"

Nikki was silent, he could feel her struggling to make sense of her memories.

"Harry couldn't have found you…" Thomas continued.

"He did." Nikki disagreed. But the memories were hazy. She remembered him picking her up from a basement floor. The smell of his jacket around her. But that wasn't here. That was a long time ago. She willed her brain to remember something solid.

"¡Te ayudaré, te ayudaré, me llamo Harry!" Nikki exclaimed.

"What?"

"I will help you." Her spirit soared with the satisfaction of a real memory. Her Spanish was mostly non-existent, but she could get by with the basics. "The man who found me was called Harry. 'Me llamo Harry.'" There was a pause. "Oh, you thought I meant Harry, Harry…"

"I did wonder… It's not exactly a Spanish name… Are you sure? Maybe he just said. 'You have to hurry,' it sounds similar." He could sense Nikki's confusion then. There was so much she didn't remember, it was like trying to look through frosted glass. She remembered the sunshine, the water. The feeling of the wind in her hair. She tried to picture the face of the man who had put her in the truck. She hadn't been frightened. He'd given her a drink of water. He was short, too short to be Harry. And yet? Harry's was the only face she could see looking down at her. She gave up. It made her brain hurt.

"You're probably right. I must have imagined it."

But Thomas couldn't deny it. Harry had brought her back in the hospital. No one else had been able to reach her there.

"It's alright Thomas. Mostly I know when dead people are talking to me, or people who aren't really there."

"That's comforting to know, Nikki. Would you let me know if that changes?"

Thomas didn't hear an answer, but felt a shrug against him. Jack must have heard her answer though, and he clearly didn't like it. Even with Nikki in the seat between them he could sense Jack's response. He fidgeted his legs into a slightly different wedged position and gripped onto the handles of the seat. Jack was never comfortable when Nikki strayed from the path of the tangible, scientific world. The pair of them made a great team but understanding the trauma of what her imagination had done to her whilst trapped in that box was far beyond what either of the men would comprehend.

"Oh and Nikki?"

"Yes. I thought there was only one question. You're almost as annoying as Harry."

"Yes, and I love you too." Thomas retorted and felt himself blush. He thought back to what Harry had said. 'You don't need words to say I love you.' Did she realise how important she had become to him? Did his being in Mexico say that clearly enough? He thought it was safer to change the subject.

"Nikki, who's Amira?"

* * *

 **Come on, I know you all want to guess. Go on hit the little button. Harry hugs as always to anyone who guesses.**

 **And hopefully the Spanish says something like "I will help you, I will help you. My name is Harry."**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks for waiting.**

* * *

 **Chapter 16**

"Amira is his saviour."

"What?"

"Without her, Harry would be dead."

"What are you talking about?"

"She's a Syrian refugee."

"You're not making any sense Nikki." Thomas wished he could look into her eyes, but she still had her head resting on his shoulder. "I'm not following Nikki. How could a young Syrian refugee possibly save Harry's life and why is she in New York?"

Nikki took a deep breath. "Harry started volunteering at the UN."

"Let me guess," Thomas interrupted. "Would this have begun about the time Leo was killed?"

"Yes, a couple of months afterwards. Why? Oh…"

She'd not really put the two together until now.

"He volunteered at the UN, did all sorts; fitted it in around his university work. He went out to all the nightmare hotspots as some kind of independent observer. One of the places he was sent to was Syria. He was taken to a site of a recent air strike. They were supposed to be gathering evidence about civilian and military targets. There was nothing left of the village. The story was that the villagers had been gathered in a house, holding a wake when the missile hit. The whole population of the village was annihilated by hitting that one house. It was carnage. Harry was there to document the evidence. Not that there was evidence, just a big pile of rubble and a bigger pile of bodies. The rescue operation was still in progress, but no one believed anyone had survived. He stopped to look at the row of bodies laid out on the ground. Something made Harry want to examine them, he says he can't explain it. It wasn't part of his UN remit. A remembrance of his past. Fate. Whatever you want to believe in."

"Go on," Thomas encouraged.

"He lifted the covering of one of the smallest bodies, only to discover that the girl wasn't actually dead. He tried to speak to the rescue workers, get someone to understand. Eventually when someone translated for him he was told that she'd been pulled out from under the rubble and she would be dead before they could get her to a hospital or to get her the help she needed. Her family were dead, her village was dead and she was probably bleeding internally. It was for the best." Nikki paused, and took a drink from the water bottle in front of her.

"I've not known him long, but I get the sense that Harry wouldn't have agreed with that."

"Not for a moment."

"So Harry stayed with her?"

"He did a bit more than that. He commandeered a vehicle, got her back to the field hospital; demanded treatment for her. Somehow or other Harry managed to procure the medicine she really needed, despite the lack of resources. He'd raided the supply meant for military personnel."

"You mean he stole it."

"Those weren't the exact words he used."

Thomas chuckled, "Did he ever follow the rules?"

"Harry?"

"When he worked at the Lyell?"

"He was brilliant at what he did." Nikki replied.

"That's not the question I asked." Thomas grinned and felt grateful that Harry had left long before he arrived.

"Harry likes to do things in his own way."

"I'm thinking that probably didn't go down well in Syria?"

"No! Not at all. What Syria didn't need was another sick orphan, but Harry didn't care, he was used to being in trouble. He just felt compelled to do all he could for her."

"It's beginning to sound familiar," Thomas muttered.

"The two of them became inseparable. She would scream the place down if anyone else came near her."

"But how did they communicate?" Thomas asked, focused as ever on the practicalities.

"They managed somehow, Harry always had a way with small children, and usually a pocketful of sweets. So Harry stayed with her and then to return the favour she saved his life."

"How?" asked Thomas incredulous. "She's not even five by the look of her."

"Hmm, I'm not sure they know exactly how old she is. Harry had to face a military disciplinary hearing, some wrist slapping exercise because of what he'd done, the UN officials weren't impressed either. At the last minute he decided to take Amira with him, she'd made a good recovery by this time and he'd made an agreement with the doctors to be allowed to take her. Visual evidence to prove his point and all that. While they were gone there were more air strikes. The hospital was hit. Had they stayed they would both have been killed. Some of his colleagues were."

"So he survived because he was out getting yelled at by some military high-up?"

"Yes."

"But if he'd been fired as a UN volunteer, didn't he have to go back to the US?"

"He refused to return, took leave of absence from NYU, stayed out there working with Medecins Sans Frontieres just to be with her. They made him take her to an orphanage when she'd fully recovered but Harry wouldn't leave her there. He said it was terrible, so he brought her back to the camp with him and consulted a lawyer, applied for guardianship. He'd fallen in love with her by then."

Nikki smiled.

"What?"

"I was just thinking; Harry always did prefer younger women."

Thomas looked aghast.

"No! Not like that. He had a long string of 20 somethings back in the day."

Thomas just raised an eyebrow and let Nikki go back to the story.

"Anyway he stayed in Syria for as long as he could, and managed to acquire refugee status for Amira, and got her back to the States. The adoption is just about to come through."

"He's a good man." Thomas agreed. So that solved the mystery of why Harry hadn't come to Mexico, Thomas thought. He wouldn't have the paperwork to take her out of the country and it was clear he would go nowhere without her. He'd done all he could for Nikki under the circumstances.

"He adores her. She's been good for him."

"And you?"

"He's good to me too." Nikki agreed."

"But?"

"It's complicated."

They settled into a companionable silence for a while.

"Nikki?"

"Your ability to count questions is rubbish." Nikki commented.

Thomas thought he heard a laugh from Jack, but flicking him a look, he was still in exactly the same position, his face impassive except for the cheek gnawing, the rest of his body motionless.

"I thought you were sleeping. I wanted you to rest."

"I'm not going to sleep. What did you want to say?"

Thomas took a deep breath. He'd thought hard about what he was about to say next.

"This plane, we're not flying straight to Heathrow. We've got a stop-over." He felt Nikki shift beside him, stiffen slightly and turn to look at Jack.

"Where do we stop?" Nikki asked. Her voice little more than a whisper.

* * *

 **Lots of you have known where this bit's been going for a long while! And Tigpop had me worried by worrying about how Jack was going to take it... She's much more caring than I am, so I've let him put a bit more in for you, just not yet. Also Harry's Syria story is fiction, I know air strikes on a hospital did happen in reality and I remember a JAG episode where a field doctor was prosecuted for using medication designated for military personnel on a civilian but I have no actual knowledge of what goes on, so just believe it in the context of fiction, I'm sure the reality is very different**.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"I don't even know if you'll be able to delay the second part of the flight. They were booked at the last minute. It might not be convenient. I haven't even asked. He's got responsibilities…"

"Thomas!"

"We land in New York in four hours." Thomas confirmed.

Nikki inhaled sharply, her back rigid against the seat.

"It's another two hours until the next flight leaves. You might be able to take a later flight. There may be a way of breaking the flights, rearranging. But I am not leaving you alone in New York!" Thomas insisted.

"So we could call him, as soon as we land. He could make it to the airport in under an hour. I wouldn't be alone. You'd be there. He could call us when he arrived and I could meet him. I'd just be alone through immigration. I wouldn't be on my own for long."

"You think he'd get there that quickly? Even with a child in tow too?" Thomas was aware of Jack shifting again in his seat.

Nikki paused. It had been a long time since they had really spent any time together.

"How many times did he call when I was away?" Nikki asked.

"I lost count after seven," Thomas admitted. Nikki sat back slightly. Relaxing into the chair as she took on the significance of the answer.

"If we asked him, he would be there." Nikki said without a shadow of doubt in her soul.

"I think I agree," replied Thomas.

"What am I going back to Thomas? An empty house?"

"You could stay with Jack…"

Nikki blew air through her lips and took a quick glance to her left at Jack. "I'm not sure Jack even knows where he lives."

"There's room at my place," Thomas suggested quietly. "Just for a couple of days…" He added, not wanting to presume or insist.

Nikki sighed. "That's kind Thomas. And when I get back to London, it's something I will seriously consider. But if he would have me, even just for a couple of days…"

Thomas sighed. But he knew he'd already made the decision.

"We have to call him, Thomas. I need you to. I need you to at least ask." She was fortunate she still had her passport, some money and a change of clothes, but her phone, that phone and her bag and wallet were long gone.

"I know, I'll call him the moment we land. But you have to remember that Harry is parenting a young child, a traumatised young child at that. He may not be able to take on…" Thomas trailed to a stop.

"What two women who are afraid of the dark and terrified of being abandoned and buried alive."

"It will make things… difficult…"

It made Thomas wonder, the story Nikki had told of Amira. Buried alive, left for dead, abandoned. It prefigured Nikki's story by months, probably a year but it made him feel uneasy. Harry's relentless quest to restore that girl's life despite the consequences. It was almost as if his actions in Syria had somehow foreshadowed and then been reflected and mirrored in Mexico. A mysterious saviour turning up at the eleventh hour. Thomas didn't like Nikki's faith that there was more to the world than just tangible science any more than Jack did. But there was something here, something beyond his understanding. Would things have turned out differently if Harry had given up on Amira as he'd been told to? It was ridiculous. It went against science and facts. And yet?

Nikki was right though. Harry would have a hard task on his hands with both of them traumatised in such a similar way. How would he cope?

"Nikki, you have to admit, it will be complicated."

"That's alright then," Nikki said smugly. "Complicated is what we do well."

"So," Thomas said warily, changing the subject, desperate to get his mind away from wandering down that previous track. "Never on that sofa, then?"

"Thomas!"

* * *

 **Thomas is almost becoming human... I hope he's still recognisable.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Thomas chuckled inwardly, he'd almost heard a smile in her voice. If he thought back a week or so, he would never have imagined having this kind of a conversation with her. It was as inappropriate as that kiss when she left. Things had changed in the last week and spurred on by the hint of the smile he'd heard, he continued.

"Cutting room?"

He felt Nikki shake her head against her seat. "We never had sex at work." Nikki stated scientifically.

"Harry never said that, he asked where you'd made love…"

"Same difference." Nikki insisted.

"I don't think so," Thomas disagreed. "So just not at work then?" Thomas surmised taking Nikki's silence as an agreement. "Why did he leave?"

"Lots of reasons, it's complicated."

"We've got hours, try me."

"Because it was never enough; it made us too vulnerable,"

How could love not be enough? Thomas felt like asking. But he knew the answer to that question. So instead he just asked, "How?"

"It's complicated, Thomas."

"So you keep saying,"

"We were selfish, messed up, in need of comfort. It wasn't healthy."

Thomas sighed. All those incidents in the accident book. With in-office relationships frowned upon, no doubt the pair of them had come up with some complicated arrangement that only let them spend the night together after the most horrific of days. It would go a long way to explain their reckless disregard for personal safety towards the end of Harry's time at the Lyell. He'd seen the way they'd spoken to each other today, that intuitive closeness. It had been inevitable.

This trip to Mexico had given him an understanding of the pain that trip to Budapest must have caused. Had they sat silent and still in each other's arms as she and Jack had done earlier? It had been Harry missing. He doubted Nikki would have been as stoic as Jack had been, back at the hospital. She would have wept and sobbed and broken what was left of Harry's heart. And what may have started as a friendly kiss to chase the tears away would never had stayed that way. They had both been pushed to the limit, looked death in the face and then unexpectedly been thrown back together. However it started the instinct for life; to love and seek comfort would have driven them forward. The consummation becoming something primal and overwhelming to blunt the sharpness of the pain.

He'd put money on that being when it started.

And after? They'd have tried to go back to how they were. But there would always be something else, some horror pushing them back towards each other and by then the arrangement they must have made would have just exacerbated their self-destructive behaviour. She had said it herself. They were selfish, messed up and Harry had chosen to leave before his time ran out.

He realised Nikki hadn't actually spoken of any of these ideas.

"We both had had difficult lives…" she began

"He never believed he was allowed to be happy, and you never believed you were allowed to be loved." Thomas stated.

Nikki sat up sharply and stared at him. Thomas paled. They'd never had a conversation like this before. It was totally unprofessional. He'd never pressed her about anything personal and now he'd done it all wrong and she would clam up like before. What was he thinking? Straying so far from his job remit. He should stick to what he knew best; gruff, friendly indifference. She was still staring at him opened mouthed. What had he said? Where had that thought even come from?

* * *

 **So do you think it was possible? It would answer some questions... I love to hear your ideas.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Only two today, my lovelies. Chapter 20 is probably where the story ends, but as soon as I started uploading, I knew I'd not get away without writing a reunion. I had nothing for a long while, but suffice it to say there are 3 more after these two. I'm not promising they're any good, but there are 3 more. In the meantime, if you want a proper reunion fic try hushedgreylily's: Alive . Now that's a reunion fic. Thanks as ever to my lovely readers and reviewers.**

* * *

 **Chapter 19**

"I'm sorry," he apologised. "It's none of my business." He could see a tear forming in her eye, threatening to spill down her cheek. He suddenly felt plunged back into those first days, the days when she stared at him with that haunted look.

"What?" he asked, when he could bear the silence and stare no longer.

"It's nothing, it's just that; that was exactly the sort of thing Leo would have said to us… to me. For a moment you sounded just like him." The tear tracked down her cheek as she spoke. "Only he'd have probably shaken his head and muttered 'idiots' under his breath too."

Thomas sucked in air and half coughed half laughed as he did so. What had happened to him as he'd sat in all those different chairs over the last few days? How had he started thinking in such a completely different way?

"I'm not Leo." He said, watching her scrub away the tear.

"I know, but now? This – It's better than how it was before… with us…?" she asked.

Thomas nodded his answer, "Definitely better." He exhaled heavily and watched Nikki's face return to its mask of invulnerability. "So, what about you and Harry, now?"

"We're older… Amira's been good for him. Someone he can love and control."

"For now…" Thomas suggested. "Wait till she's a teenager!" But he took note of Nikki's choice of words.

"He'll be fine, Thomas. The two of them work. I have no idea how he manages work and day care, but he does. He's happier than I've ever seen him. He's a great dad."

"Aren't you afraid of him?" Thomas asked.

"Of Harry?"

"All those things he said to you Nikki, to wake you up. They were all…" Thomas struggled to think of the words: asking for help, joking about their sex life, referencing Budapest, mocking her suicide attempt, making her relive her fear. Every single one had been designed to cause the maximum emotional impact. As if Harry, had deliberately targeted every open wound between them and given it another stab and twist of the knife. "The things he said were really hurtful, are you sure you want to see him?"

"Thomas! You asked him to help you wake me up. What was he supposed to do? Offer me a cup of tea?"

"What!" Thomas exclaimed. "Out of all of you, the only one who does what I tell him to do, is the maverick that breaks all the rules and the only one who doesn't work for me?! I wanted you to wake up, so we could leave. I didn't mean for him to hurt you."

"That didn't hurt me," she said quietly but didn't continue. Love and loss, whatever Harry had explained about his going all those years ago. That had hurt. He took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm sorry," Thomas said sincerely.

"I told you, it's complicated Thomas. We've known each other for years. He's the longest standing friend I have, it's been rocky but Harry knows me, he does know how to hurt me. But he knows how to make it better too. He's family."

There was a heavy pause, the drone of the engines seeming louder and more threatening.

"And us?" Thomas cocked his head towards Jack.

"Harry, you, Jack, Clarissa. You're the only family I've got. I told you all that. I recorded you all messages." The faraway tone returned to her voice.

Thomas shuddered. He was glad that THAT phone had not been returned along with her.

"What if you don't want to come back?"

Nikki sighed. "Saying goodbye all over again, that does scare me. But New York is his home. London is mine. We work better this way. Will you call him for me, when we land please? Let me stay if he says 'yes?' I know he's probably told you to confiscate my passport."

"Did you hear us talking?" Thomas asked.

"No, but it doesn't surprise me. Please ask Thomas. I won't stay long, I'll be 48 hours, in and out. You'll hardly notice I've been gone." She paused and swallowed, ghosts of conversations past haunting her very words.

Thomas became aware that despite the seeming progress in their relationship, there was still so much about her that he did not know.

"I'll be back," she added. "I promise."

* * *

 **That '48 hours in and out,' is what Harry said before he left to go on the fateful trip to Hungary. I know most of you will have spotted it, just thought I'd help out any newbies (and my mum).**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Her eyes flicked over to Jack. "He does know I'm sorry doesn't he?"

"Jack, was worried about you. We were all worried about you."

"Is he going to be alright?" Nikki asked.

"It's going to take a while. You'll have to give him time." Thomas suggested.

"I just want…" Nikki sighed. Nothing would be the same. She wiped a stray tear from her eye. "Thank you Thomas. I'm so sorry. When I was in that box…"

"Shh!" Thomas interrupted. "There's time for all that later. You need time too. You need to get better…"

"There's never as much time as you think…" Nikki muttered allowing her mind to drift back to that other time.

Too much time, too little time, waiting. It was all that Thomas had seemed to focus on for the last few days.

"Try and get some rest, Nikki"

"You know I won't sleep,"

"I know," he sighed. "But you can relax, a little."

"Maybe later…"

She turned in her seat to face Jack. She didn't know what to say to him. 'I know how you feel?' How ridiculous was that? She knew how she felt when Leo told her that Harry was gone, she'd only gone to Hungary to retrieve his body. Not to look for him. She had no idea how Jack had felt, what he had done. She suspected that starting any conversation that referenced Harry in any way, would not be good.

"I am so sorry Jack."

"So you keep saying." Jack replied sulkily.

"Jack, please," she begged. "You were all I had. You would not believe how happy I was whenever that phone rang and I could hear your voice. I couldn't have done this without you. You didn't give up on me. You…"

"You have no idea what I did…" He said darkly.

Nikki bit her lip and stared straight ahead. She didn't have the energy to fight with Jack. Not with him like this. And it was true. She didn't know what he had done. Maybe Thomas would tell her.

"You know we have a stop-over."

"Uh huh," he replied non-commitally.

"Jack please listen to me. This is too much, too big. I don't know how to begin. I don't know how to get this right. I'm sorry. Maybe it'll be better this way. I can take a couple of days and you can spend some time… process…" Take a beating and beat some other poor soul or souls to a pulp in a cage and then drink until you black out, Nikki thought to herself. She reached out to hold his hand, half expecting him to snatch his hand from hers but instead he held it tight, gently ran his thumb over hers and then lifted her hand and pressed it to his cheek.

"I'm sorry too. I'm exhausted Nikki. I can't think straight. I can't… I can't even talk about this," he said bitterly.

"You were there with me, Jack. I would have given up long before if you hadn't have been there. Please remember that. I needed you. I still do."

Jack let go of her hand then. "But not right now."

"It's just a couple of days. He can't leave the country at the moment. We're practically stopping on his doorstep."

"And you'll be back?"

"Two days, Jack. 48 hours. I'm coming back."

Jack gave a disbelieving shrug and turned his head to look out of the window.

Nikki rested her head back down on Thomas's shoulder.

Thomas looked across at his colleagues. This hadn't been in the person specification when he'd applied to the Lyell. Self-sacrifice for colleagues. Somehow it seemed as necessary as his medical degree. Could he do it?

Had he done it already? He'd not cleared his absence properly and used his own money to fund his ticket. And stepping back to allow her to stop in New York. Putting her back in Harry's life when she was at her most vulnerable, when he could have been the one to take her under his wing? What was it about the Lyell that could make people do that?

Love?

Is that what it was?

Family?

The way she and Harry talked to each other, they sounded connected. But Harry's new daughter? That would make it different, difficult.

But she said she'd come back. Promised even. Her home was in London. She had definitely said that. And she'd called them her family.

So what of the four of them? Jack, Nikki, Clarissa and himself, they were unconventional, but it worked. Maybe it was worth it? Conventional family life had not worked out previously for Thomas. Maybe this was better? Was this what he wanted?

He pulled at his collar. It was sitting tightly across his neck, but that was because Nikki's head was now resting heavily on his shoulder.

He smiled.

She was safe, she was alive, she was leaving Mexico with him, and Jack on either side as sentinels.

He'd told her he loved her. The world hadn't ended. She hadn't laughed in his face and they had talked; really talked, as they never had before.

So love might create danger, provide a weakness that could be exploited and make them vulnerable.

But he had Jack, he had Clarissa and he had Harry to back him up.

He'd never felt more alive.

* * *

 **I think I've done more to make Thomas likeable in a few pages than the BBC have in years, I even warmed to him when I got round to watching the first episodes of this season… Boy! Jack was even more grumpy than I made him! Thanks so much for reading everyone and rest assured there is a coda.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Sorry it's been so long, thanks for bearing with me and the good (?) news is, is that this isn't the end. I can't get them to keep quiet, so three more after this trio. Enjoy.**

* * *

 **Coda**

The arrivals hall was hot and stuffy, the queue for non-US citizens had snaked back and forth between ropes and stands. It had been a long wait, standing all the while. Nikki was tired now.

"Just one foot in front of the other," she said out loud to herself, willing her forward momentum to continue. She could sense the blackness around her, dominating her peripheral vision. She knew the signs, could feel the light-headedness. The pinpricks of flashing lights. The darkness closing in. She scanned the crowd desperate to see the one familiar face.

"Harry?" she half whispered, half called.

She wasn't really taking in the people around her. Everything was blurring.

One foot.

Then the next foot.

She pressed forward with the surge of other passengers disgorged through the doors.

She stopped, dipped her head forward to try and get more oxygen to her brain. Breathed in slowly and calmly. The people around her kept bumping into her, the constant jostling made her anxious. She looked into the sea of faces, desperate to find the one she knew.

"Harry!" she called a little louder.

She sensed movement over to her left and took a step in that direction. She saw him then, speeding towards her, half dragging Amira by the hand, after him. Her short legs not keeping up with his long strides, shoes slipping and failing to get a grip on shiny over polished floor.

"Harry!" Nikki sighed. "Get me out of here." She collapsed against him, felt the reassurance of his firm hold on her and the familiar scent of aftershave and then everything went black.

oOo

Harry scooped Nikki into his arms, called for Amira to follow him and strode to the nearest bank of chairs. He arranged Nikki across three of them, pulled up her knees, checked her temperature and that she was still breathing, seemingly all in one fluid movement.

"Amira. Look after Nikki. I'm going to find a wheelchair or something." He gave her a long look, trying to assess her comprehension of all that he had said.

"You. Look after Nikki!" He pointed.

"Me?" she asked.

"I'll be two minutes, I promise."

He didn't like the quivery look she gave him but he had no choice. He watched her perch on a chair level with Nikki's waist, her legs still not quite reaching the floor.

"I stay here. Look after Nikki." She said carefully.

"Yes! Good girl, Amira," he replied and disappeared into the sea of people.

oOo

Amira looked around. She wasn't used to so many people. Her village had been small, quiet, until the fighting and the bombs came. The last time she'd come through the airport, she'd hidden her face in Harry's shoulder and been carried by him. This time it was Nikki being carried and now Harry was gone. She was in charge.

"Look after Nikki," she said to herself. She looked at Nikki, she was very pale. She was fascinated by her springy blond hair and plucked up the courage to touch it, pull it and watch it bounce back. It felt soft. She liked the way it curled round her finger. She'd been so focused on her hair, she hadn't realised that Nikki had opened her eyes.

"Hello Amira," Nikki said.

"Abi Harry gone. Me look after…" she pointed towards Nikki and then rummaged in her backpack. She produced a juice box and after three or four attempts managed to get the straw out of the plastic and into the hole at the top of the box and offered it to Nikki.

"Me, look after. Drink." Amira commanded.

Nikki propped herself up and sucked in the sugar filled drink that had also been thoughtfully crammed with artificial sweeteners. It tasted disgusting but it was just what she needed. Welcome to America she thought. Why was Harry letting Amira drink this neurotoxic rubbish?

"It's nice," she smiled at Amira. "Thanks." Amira was digging into her back pack again and pulled out a small cereal bar. She started to unwrap it and looked back at Nikki and then back to the cereal bar. She snapped the bar in half, looked carefully at the two pieces and gave Nikki the larger bit. Nikki took it, and keeping her head low, swung herself round to a sitting position and took a bite of the bar. They sat side by side, thighs still touching, eating and sharing the juice box between them.

"Abi Harry, get help." Amira said.

Nikki dared to raise her head slightly and looked around. He was nowhere to be seen.

"No frightened." Amira added, taking Nikki's hand in her own. "Amira look after Nikki."

"You are doing a great job. Thank you." Nikki spoke slowly. She guessed that Amira probably understood more than she could say. The poor child must be terrified.

"What else is in the backpack?" Nikki asked pointing as she did so.

Amira opened it up. There was some spare clothes, another juice box and a plastic unicorn.

"I like the unicorn." Nikki said pointing to the multi-coloured animal.

Amira reached in but without taking it out of the bag pressed a button that made the unicorn shine brightly.

"It's a torch!" Nikki exclaimed.

Amira nodded and handed the unicorn over to Nikki, showing her where the button was. Nikki watched as the unicorn lit up, a rainbow of light shining into her hand.

"Amira no like dark."

Nikki put her arm around Amira's shoulder and pulled her close against her. "Nikki no like dark either," she whispered, holding the torch between them and lighting both their faces.

"Bombs bad. House…" Stuck for words Amira gestured a collapse sign.

"All gone."

"Dead."

"Amira stuck."

"Dark, very frightened."

"Abi Harry find, make better."

Nikki couldn't stop the tears from falling, she could see how hard it was for Amira to find the words; she was touched that Amira had shared her story so openly. Had Harry told her what had happened? Was this part of Amira's plan to look after her? It was a strange thing for Harry to have said to her, but maybe he just didn't want her to wander off. Nikki wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands.

Everyone Nikki had met so far had known of her ordeal. She'd not had to explain it to anyone. Even Harry had seemed to know. But now she would have to constantly retell it. Relive it with each retelling, how would she find the words? She didn't even have the same language barrier. And yet here with Amira, she did have someone who could understand.

"I was stuck in a box, under the ground for a long time. It was dark."

"More bombs?" The way Amira held her head, it was clear it was a question.

"No bombs. But I was frightened. I couldn't breathe." Nikki mimed the last one. "I thought I was going to die. I told my friend to go and rescue the others, I made him leave me to die." She slowed up, sure now that Amira would not understand any of what she had said.

"Abi Harry make better?" Amira asked.

Nikki looked up then, the warning alarm of a motorised vehicle reversing, interrupting the question.

"Come on girls!" called a familiar voice. It was Harry sat in the back of an airport transport buggy. Amira giggled, even Nikki almost smiled. "Welcome aboard," Harry continued his arms spread wide.

"Abi Harry make better," Nikki whispered to Amira.

Amira scurried on board and smiled at Harry.

"Great job Amira," he high fived her enthusiastically. "Look at what you did, you made Nikki better!"

She cocked her head to one side sceptically and watched as Nikki slowly got to her feet and sat down heavily in the buggy.

"Amira give Nikki drink." Harry looked at Nikki then wide eyed. Nikki nodded, Harry pulled a comic horrified face behind Amira's head, stuck out his tongue and mimed his low opinion of Amira's favourite drink.

"You's all hold on tight back there," the driver announced and he began to move the vehicle into the sea of people and towards the exit.

Nikki smiled.

* * *

 **You didn't really expect I'd make it easy for them, did you?**


	22. Chapter 22

**Coda 2**

It hadn't taken long to get back to Harry's apartment, it was late but they'd picked up a cab at the airport and the traffic had been sparse. He'd poured her a drink and pointed at the bread and gone to put Amira to bed. But Nikki wasn't interested in eating. She sipped the wine and looked around at Harry's modern bachelor styled apartment, now festooned with crayoned drawings and a plastic box of toys. There was a picture frame filled with images of what must have been Amira's village before it was blown to smithereens, along with photos of people Nikki supposed to be her previous family. Amira was tired, she hadn't made a fuss about going to bed and for that Harry was grateful. He'd left all four nightlights plugged in. Today wasn't the day for worrying about the electricity bill.

"She's great." Nikki said when Harry re-joined her in the kitchen. "I'm so happy for you."

The light-hearted smile had gone out of Harry's eyes though and he pulled her roughly towards him, clasping her tightly. All the time Amira had been with them, he'd kept his distance, but not now. Everything had suddenly changed, his look, his bearing, everything and here she was pressed close against him.

Nikki suddenly thought back to Thomas' question about her being afraid of Harry. She felt his arms squeezing her body tight, almost uncomfortably tight.

But she wasn't afraid.

She felt safe, alive, home.

"Nikki!" he cried through gritted teeth. "Why? What would I do without you?" She felt his body tremble against hers, she stroked his back in the soothing way she'd done years before. She'd not expected the change in him to be so dramatic. They'd chatted so easily on the journey home, she'd thought that finally he'd moved on.

"I'm sorry, Harry. It was just a funeral. She was a friend. I didn't think."

She stopped. Therein lay the problem. The one he could never abide or comprehend. How she could find a way to step directly into the lion's mouth? And to do it so often.

"I'm sorry." She muttered again, turning her cheek to press it against his, trying desperately to offer him the comfort he so clearly craved.

Harry let out a choked howl. "I thought that now, after all this time, with Amira, it wouldn't hurt so much. But…"

"Sh!" she whispered pressing a kiss to his forehead and catching his eye as she pulled away.

She'd seen that look before.

She couldn't help but hold his gaze, a historic but strangely familiar feeling settled somewhere below her stomach.

"Nikki," he half growled, his head shaking a little. "I don't know what to do! I promised myself that it wouldn't come to this, that I'd take the couch. But you're not going to sleep anyway, you should have the couch. We shouldn't. I can't do this again..."

"Harry!" Nikki called to him, sensing the distance despite her arms being tight around his back. Willing him to surrender to their closeness and to leave everything else behind.

She pulled away and looked into his eyes. "It's alright Harry. It's how we are. It'll be ok. I'm here, you're here, there are not even words to describe how awful this week has been…"

She could see the turmoil, swimming across his hazel eyes. The logical scientific part of him telling him that what he wanted would just be more damaging and hurtful to them in the long run. His heart telling him to hold onto the woman he loved and never let her go.

"We shouldn't do this…" he muttered half-heartedly.

"Then why did you just look at me like you did? What's the point pretending? We both want this." She reached up and kissed his lips gently.

"Doesn't mean it's a good idea," he said sulkily.

"I need you Harry. I need to feel alive. I need to forget. I need to be able to sleep."

"Just like old times?" he asked with a sniff. "I know you. You're just using me."

"Probably. Does it matter?"

As much as it hurt him to know, he did know her. If it wasn't him, she'd seek out someone else. Anyone else. He shuddered at the thought of who she might turn to. Thomas? Jack? They were probably both high up the list, or maybe she'd learned her lesson and would keep it out of the office. Someone she picked up in a bar? If it had to be someone, it may as well be him.

"It was always you I really wanted. You know before… all the unsuitables..." Had she really read his thoughts he wondered?

"I thought I knew what I wanted. I didn't realise until much later. I only ever really wanted you."

"Oh Nikki!"

"And then you left."

She ran her hand down his face, he looked terrible.

"You've got old," she said, tracing the lines at the corner of his eyes.

"I've had a rough year," he said sadly. "There have been a few changes: some good, some not so good. I've had to give up things. Lost a lot of people….colleagues, friends."

"I'm sorry."

"You nearly died," he said emphatically, lifting her arm and placing a kiss on her bruised left wrist. "I'm sorry too. I know it's been a long time Nikki, that it all changed when I went away but after meeting you again at the conference… it seemed like I'd only just got you back and then you went to Mexico, and I knew there would be trouble. I couldn't think for worrying."

"I guess that makes this alright then," Nikki added, kissing the side of Harry's face, where her hand had just been.

"I hated those rules," Harry muttered, his eyes closing and senses dulling to everything except the woman in his arms.

"You made them up!" she countered.

"I know. I'm an idiot." He muttered. "But I still love you more than I can comprehend. I have no idea why?"

"Because we just are and always have been. And whatever happens I don't think that's ever going to change."

Harry sighed then. She was right. It was never going to change. She was here. He loved her. She loved him. She'd be gone soon. Why waste time fighting?

"I was so worried about you!" he said, nuzzling his face into her neck and breathing her in, feeling himself becoming intoxicated by thoughts of what lay ahead.

"I heard you rang Thomas a couple of times."

"Mmm, just a couple," Harry lied.

"I can't believe you asked that sofa question, in front of him," Nikki chuckled, throwing her head back, exposing more of the sensitive area of her neck to Harry's caresses.

It was Harry's turn to laugh now. "Well he had begged me to get you to wake up. To grab your attention. That's when I knew you were going to be alright," he added.

Nikki gave him a questioning glance.

"When you had the presence of mind to be able to lie in front of your boss about not making love on that sofa in his office…"

"Harry! We…" she laughed but never finished her sentence. Harry had stopped her mouth with his own.


	23. Chapter 23

**Coda 3**

The hours had passed in a blur. The first morning Harry had had to go into the office, but he'd left while she was still asleep. Leaving her a note and the time of his return.

She hadn't wanted to go out.

She'd stayed in the bed most of the morning.

Time just disappeared.

She remembered watching out the window a while. She hadn't felt restless.

She hadn't even felt the need to do something.

After lunch, Harry had returned with Amira. Amira didn't like going out into the city much either so Nikki joined them at their favourite place on the roof garden of Harry's building. They played skittles improvised out of some old water bottles and a game of 'hunt the unicorn,' where Harry found more and more inventive places to hide Amira's beloved rainbow unicorn torch.

"You can't cheat and look, Nikki!" he'd called to her. "You must be cheating, Amira's great at this game and you've found the unicorn first, twice now!" She watched then, Amira always turned her back on Harry. But she never covered her eyes. Nikki had found it hard to shut her own, so she followed Amira's lead and turned her back. It was quiet on the roof; the noises of the city below loud enough to give a feeling of belonging but not of suffocation and the open sky above stretching out with endless possibilities of light. There was a pool that would be open in the summer, a variety of plants in pots and some artificial grass. She understood why Amira preferred this to a noisy playground somewhere, crowded with other children. There were no other buildings around as tall as this one. It was no doubt another reason why Amira liked it. Nothing to fall on her and shut her in.

When the games were exhausted, Harry collected the bottles and prepared to head back down to the apartment. He read Nikki's look.

"There's a lot of culture shock for her, her village was not rich even before the war. She doesn't need 'stuff,' she just needs safety and love. Hopefully it will be enough."

Nikki looked again at the makeshift skittles. Harry could no doubt afford to buy that girl anything she wanted. But all she probably wanted was her life back the way it was before. Harry could only offer her a new life and he'd been smart enough to realise that it was the time together she loved, not the amount of overpriced plastic he provided. She watched as Amira reached up to hold his hand as they went down the steps together to the lift level.

"Tomorrow, play centre!" Amira announced happily as they ate a simple dinner.

"Would you be up for coming with us?" Harry asked. "You can do Arabic 101 or join the play session."

Amira gave Nikki a hard stare and then stated. "I look after Nikki, Nikki come with me."

"I think I'd like that," Nikki said. "I'm not sure my Arabic would be very good."

"She's right Amira, she'll start trying to speak Arabic in an Afrikaans accent, it always happens…" he smiled at Nikki and then attempted a "Salaam Alaikum," with the Afrikaans accent, pointing all the while at Nikki and pulling a face so that Amira could understand.

Amira shook her head and giggled; pronounced the words properly and both Nikki and Harry had to repeat it until she was satisfied.

oOo

"Will you be alright at the play centre tomorrow?" Harry asked later, his arms tight around her, and his face pressed into the back of her neck. "You know I'd rather be here in bed with you, but…"

"It's ok Harry, this is your life now. I'm happy you let me stay. It's not going to be busy is it?"

"You'll be fine Nikki, the kids there are all refugees, they have space to be themselves and talk Arabic, there's a play therapist. It's all very calm and Amira loves it. You wouldn't believe how chatty she is when she can talk to someone who understands her, she must get so frustrated with me. Her English is great but I really need those lessons too, they're making us take exams soon."

"You've taken on a lot." Nikki said twisting in Harry's arms to look at him. She saw it then, in those lost dark eyes, all that he had seen in all the godforsaken places he'd been sent to. He wasn't cut out for pain like that, he wore it too heavily. "Harry, I .."

Harry hastily put his finger to her lips.

"Let's just be careful, eh?" Harry said sadly. "Just keep this for when Amira's asleep. You're not here for long. It's not fair to her. Everyone that girl has ever loved is gone."

"Everyone but you," Nikki suggested.

The sadness that she had been keeping at bay all the time she had been in New York, rolled and lurched around in her brain, mocking her with jealousy. Amira wasn't the only one who had lost everyone. And Amira still had Harry. Harry had left her.

"We don't have long left," Harry said pressing a kiss to her lips. "No more talking…"

"No more talking," she agreed returning and deepening the kiss.

* * *

 **Thanks as ever to my lovely reviewers. I wouldn't even have written the end if it hadn't been for you. But then when I originally wrote this we hadn't had the 'I stopped off in New York line.' So that's my defence. Also BTW anyone else notice Tom Ward listed as a floor runner for this series? Pretty sure it's not the same one but it made me smile and then my son's art report was also signed by Tom Ward. So THAT's what he's up to now. When's parents evening?**


	24. Chapter 24

**Thanks for all your encouragement, hope the end works.**

* * *

 **Coda 4**

"Come on Amira, We'll be late! Nikki will miss her plane." Harry called and Nikki smiled a watery smile. She liked watching him with his soon to be daughter. "What are you doing in there?"

He followed her into the kitchen, where Amira was busy replenishing the supplies of food and drink in her backpack.

"Remember what I told you about aeroplanes and airports."

"No bombs." Came back Amira's emphatic reply. Harry left her to it.

He went back to Nikki and put his arms around her waist.

"What's she doing?" Nikki asked.

"She never goes anywhere without enough water and snacks to get her through a day, possibly two. She takes her torch everywhere too. She gets very anxious if she's ever without it. She loves that unicorn."

"She's doing amazingly well."

"I know, that's why I don't make a fuss and I quite like those cereal bars."

"You're a great Dad," she said sincerely.

"Are you ready yet?" He called again, breaking the moment.

Amira walked out of the kitchen, her back pack on her shoulders and a piece of paper in her hand.

"For you!" she said, offering the paper to Nikki.

Nikki looked at the girl's drawing, but there were no rainbow unicorns here. Instead thick black crayon marks covered the paper, obscuring most of the white. She was a little taken aback. It wasn't the usual thing for a child to draw, it didn't look like any of the drawings pinned on Harry's walls. She'd not noticed her working on it. She must have done it at the play centre earlier. She was just about to reply with a polite platitude when she noticed something right in the centre. She dropped to her knees and held the picture between them, pointing.

In the smallest space of white in the middle of the sea of angry black crayon was a faint pencil drawn tadpole person. Big round head with arms where the ears should be, but arms that seemed to reach out of the surrounding blackness and offer help.

"Abi Harry!" said Nikki pointing at the little figure in the centre of the blackness. "Abi Harry help!" she added.

Amira nodded, pleased that Nikki had seen in the picture, all that she'd drawn there. The face in the darkness with arms reaching to lift her out of the grave and bring her back to life.

"Thank you!" Nikki smiled, pulling the girl into a fierce hug. "I will miss you. You must come and see me when you come to London." Amira nodded and pointed to Nikki and then to herself.

"Same!" she stated.

"Yes, we're the same. You are a very brave and special girl Amira. Harry is so proud of you." The words Nikki realised were probably lost on Amira, but she was sure she'd understand the sentiment.

"I put in bag." Amira stated, took back her picture and scurried over to Nikki's small holdall by the apartment door.

"We're both going to miss you," said Harry taking Nikki's hand.

"Thanks for letting me come and stay, thanks for talking to Thomas and waking me up and …"

"It's time to go," said Harry sadly and opened the front door.

oOo

"Thomas said a strange thing to me," Nikki admitted as they waited to hail a cab. "He said, that you never allowed yourself to be happy and I never allowed myself to be loved. Do you think that's true?"

"I think it probably was." Harry admitted. "But now with Amira, I'm not saying it's not hard Nikki. The things I've seen and that poor girl, all that she's been through, the nightmares she has, but being with her…"

"I know. You're happy Harry. You deserve it. I'm happy for you."

"And what about you?" Harry asked.

"I think I might be learning," she admitted and turned to steal another subtle kiss before their time ran out. "Going back. It's not going to be easy."

"So stay…" Harry said simply.

Nikki looked up at him then. "You don't mean that."

"I do, I really do," She could see from his face the authenticity of his words, he may have only just discovered the truth himself, but it clearly was the truth. "But you know how it has to be."

Nikki felt like exploding a retort, Harry and his 'beeping' conditions, but the presence of Amira, and the cab pulling up, terminated the outburst.

"Nikki?" Harry began, slinging his arm around her shoulder in the back seat of the car. "When you were in that box, did you want to live?"

"You know what I did, Harry."

"You just wanted out of the box, Nikki. Did you actually want to die?"

"No."

"So don't live your life as if you do! The stupid, dangerous things you do. No one is irreplaceable at work, Nikki, no one. But that's not true in life, this year, the past few years; all those unnecessary deaths of people I care about. Do you know how many medical personnel have been killed in the Syrian conflict so far?"

Nikki shook her head.

"It's over 800! And that's just the medics! I can't hack it anymore. You know I love you Nikki, but I can't stand by and watch you blundering from disaster to disaster. It's too hard. I won't do it. I'd love to have you here with us; the three of us… We would be..." Harry shrugged unsure of the word, but kept her gaze; words had never really been so important between them. "But I will not have Amira exposed to anymore unnecessary heartache. You know what I want. It's your call Nikki. It always has been."

"You never make it easy."

"I know, I'm sorry." He pressed a kiss into the top of her hair, regardless of the quizzical look he received from Amira. "You need to go back, get yourself well and then think carefully about what you want."

"I think I know what I want…"

"Nikki, you are still in 'survivor's euphoria,' you have no idea what you want. You have to go back. You told them you would.

"I promised," Nikki added mournfully.

"The offer will stand Nikki. Why don't you do something that's dangerous in a different way? Take a chance… on us. Just think about it, please?"

A small tear escaped and began to track down her cheek but Harry was quick to wipe it away.

"I will think about it," she said. "Thank you," she added in a hushed whisper.

* * *

 **We sang this Matt Redman song at church whilst I was writing this and it gave me a smile. Pretty sure we weren't singing about Harry though… Chorus goes like this:**

' **You alone can rescue. You alone can save. You alone can lift us from the grave. You came down to find us, Led us out of death. To you alone belongs the highest praise.'**


	25. Chapter 25

**Coda 5**

Nikki was about to stow her bag in the overhead locker when she remembered that Harry had given her a book for the journey, she didn't expect to be able to concentrate on it, but she felt she ought to try. It was an overnight flight. She was unlikely to be able to sleep and the book would be more soothing than the inflight entertainment. She placed the bag on her lap to open. She felt the man in the next seat move firmly away from her as the tears began to roll down her face once more as she examined the contents of her bag.

Inside Nikki's bag other than her few belongings, was the latest Patterson thriller, Amira's picture, a cereal bar and her beloved unicorn torch. She must have sneaked them all in, when she was putting in the picture. That explained Harry's cryptic talk about airports, planes and bombs earlier. Amira would have wanted to put one or two of her revolting juice boxes in, but she wasn't allowed. She had really taken seriously the role of looking after Nikki. So instead of the drink, she'd given her the unicorn. Nikki's heart melted as she considered the thoughtfulness and sacrifice of that little girl. She pressed the button and watched the rainbow effect light up her bag. She'd have to tell Harry what had happened to it, he'd probably turn the apartment upside down looking for it. She would call them to tell them that the unicorn was safe, the minute she landed, offer to send it back. She'd find a phone somehow. She would find out where it came from, try and send her a new one.

It seemed the further she moved away from Harry the more her agitation increased. She desperately wanted the journey to be over and to be back in her home, but when she really considered it, did she want to be there? Alone. Forever checking over her shoulder, doubting every friend, every stranger, seeing danger at every turn?

Harry had practically dragged her through check in and to the security gate. It reminded her of the first vision she'd had of him, half carrying Amira across the concourse, only this time it was her he was supporting. The crowds, the noise, everything seemed to overwhelm her. It was exhausting.

Getting back to work would be better. Something to focus on. But would Thomas let her back? Not without therapy and proof that the dehydration hadn't permanently damaged her kidneys. And what of Jack? He was a mess. She didn't know how long she could cope with his silence and refusal to look her in the eye. He hated her for what she'd done in Mexico and stopping off in New York would have only exacerbated the pain.

She thought back to the time she had spent with Harry, indulging herself in his warmth, the safety of his arms and the oblivion of making love with him.

Was she really on some post traumatic high as Harry suggested? She hadn't felt confused. But then Harry had taken care of all the decisions: what they did, what and when they ate, everything. She began to feel the first claws of uncertainty take root in her brain; roots that would spread and grow and cripple her ability to make even the smallest decision and to think clearly. Why did Harry always have to make it sound like he knew everything?

And yet he had asked her to stay.

And he'd meant it.

She turned the unicorn over in her hand again, and pressed the button to make it light up. Maybe she wouldn't have to send a replacement. Amira was strong, she'd known that Nikki was more in need of the torch than she was. Amira still had Harry. Maybe she could email her a picture of the unicorn somewhere new every day. Perhaps once a week was more realistic as a wave of tiredness rippled through her body, bringing with it Harry's warning about how careful she needed to be in her relationship with Amira. But for all his warnings the unicorn in her hands was evidence that Amira had not yet given up her role of 'looking after Nikki.'

She lit the torch again, and watched the light reflect off the seat in front and heard the man in the adjacent seat huff.

Six months.

It wasn't that unrealistic.

Six months, to sort herself out and get Jack back on track and then she'd be in a position to decide.

She'd make sure Amira knew the unicorn was safe, and that she was looking after it for her and then perhaps she'd get on a plane and return it to her herself.


	26. Chapter 26

**For Tigpop and Hushedgreylily, for being with me every step of the way and for always being awesome.**

* * *

 **Coda 6**

Her house was just as she'd left it, perfectly neat and organised. A pile of post lay on the small table and Nikki thought with regret that she'd forgotten to cancel the cleaner, she'd only expected to be away a few days. She lifted the pile of letters and sat on the stairs. The light streamed through the glass of her front door, making patterns on the hardwood floor.

Most of the post was rubbish. She separated them into piles and sat with the papers around her until she was startled by her doorbell. She was surprised to find herself clutching Amira's unicorn. Nervously she peered through the crack left by the chain to see a delivery man holding out a small cardboard box.

"It needs signing for…" the delivery man said.

Nikki closed and reopened the door, signed the screen and brought the package back inside, opening it as she climbed back to her perch on the stairs.

It was a new phone.

"Hello," she couldn't help saying as she cradled the phone in her hands and attached the charger. Watching the screen light up, she drank in the light from the phone. She checked the time and used the landline to call into the office. It was early, but Thomas was likely to be in.

"Oh, hi Nikki," Thomas said distractedly. "You're back already?"

"I'm back." It was all she could think of to say.

"You're not planning on coming in, are you?" Thomas asked, without disguising the horrified note in his voice.

"No, not yet, I was just calling to let you know I was back and to say thank you for the phone."

"Phone?"

"Yes, the phone, it was just delivered, I …"

"I don't know anything about a phone Nikki. I'm glad you got back safely, but this isn't a great time. Can I call you later? I've got people here, we're just about to start…"

"It's ok Thomas. Go back to work."

The call was almost disconnected before she'd even finished the sentence. Thomas was back to his usual dismissive self. He'd been so different in Mexico, attentive, caring. Maybe it had just been an inconvenient time as he'd said.

She tried Jack's number, but it just went straight to voicemail.

Clarissa had been pleased to hear she was back, or so she'd said. She hadn't seen Jack since his return and she didn't know anything about Nikki's new phone. That conversation had almost been shorter than the one she'd had with Thomas. No one in the office could have arranged the phone without it passing by Clarissa's radar.

Nikki hugged her knees to her chest and felt the early morning sunshine on her face. There was only one other place that phone could have come from…

"Look after Nikki…"

He'd probably organised it to have a tracker in.

It was early but she dialled the number.

"Harry, it's Nikki. Sorry did I wake you?"

"No, I was awake." Harry lied, his voice thick with sleep.

"I just wanted to say thanks for having me and thanks for the phone."

There was a long silence, Nikki wondered whether Harry had in fact fallen back to sleep.

"I'm glad it arrived safely,"

"You didn't have to…"

"I know. But I did. Is it ok?"

"It's more than ok, Harry."

"They said your contacts were backed up, you'll have to take it in and get them to sort that. You'll have a new number I'm afraid."

"Harry, it's great. It was really thoughtful of you, I don't think I would have managed…" Another wave of lethargy hit her, she could feel the tow of it now, pulling her further and further down.

"I know how it is. It's ok, Nikki."

It was the first time she'd really considered it. She'd been so busy making comparisons between herself and Amira that she'd not really registered that Harry had been through it all too. Losing friends and colleagues, fighting every step of the way for Amira. Battling his own grief and living through it all again vicariously with Amira.

"Maybe this time I'll get it right." She heard him say.

"Did you get it wrong before?" Nikki asked. "Listen Harry, Amira gave me her unicorn. She must have put it in my bag with the picture. I hope you've not spent ages looking for it, or that she's not too upset."

"Ah, that's what she did with it. She just said it had 'gone.' Listen Nikki, don't worry I have a spare hidden away. She wanted you to have it and if it gets to be a problem, I'll get the other one out."

"Thanks, Harry. Go back to sleep." She said, her voice wavering.

"You're sure you're ok?"

There was a sniff in response.

"You know I'm serious don't you?" Harry said, all traces of sleep now gone from his voice. "Promise me you'll think about it."

"You mean it's only a spare unicorn you've got hidden away."

"Exactly." Harry replied.

She'd given herself six months earlier. Six months to get well and decide what she wanted. Six months suddenly seemed like a long time. She still needed to get well, she knew she was losing the battle, the strength to keep smiling and carry on was waning, the mental alertness to sort out all the problems, it was all getting so hard to keep hold of. Everything she knew was unravelling. Her identity was so tied up with her work; even that seemed to be untethered by her exile from the office. She was so tired. Just so tired.

"I'm sorry to have woken you. I'm tired now."

"Call me when you need me."

When; she noted he said, not if.

"Anytime. I mean it Nikki."

"And you'll be waiting?" She found herself lighting the unicorn and watching the patterns it made in her hand, despite the surrounding sunshine.

"I'll be waiting." Harry promised. "We'll both be waiting. Now go and get some rest and let me go back to sleep," he added a more light hearted sound to his voice.

"Did I ever tell you that I loved you?"

"I don't need to hear it Nikki, I just need to see it. Salaam Alaikum."

"Wa Alaikum Salaam. Peace be upon you too."

"I thought you went to the play session?"

"Amira's a good teacher."

"Clearly, there's not a hint of Afrikaans! Bye Nikki. Talk soon," Harry said and disconnected.

"Bye Harry." Nikki whispered to the empty phone. She went upstairs, each step felt like a mountain of effort. She brushed her teeth, feeling a malevolent gaze upon her from the shadowy corners of her room. She went to find Amira's picture and stuck it to the bottom of her mirror, cutting out the reflection of the painted man, she knew wasn't really there. She doubted that in future days she would be so certain. She was glad of Amira's black and white picture. She could make copies and cover all the mirrors, all the places she saw the evil from the corner of her eye.

She looked deep into the picture at the arms reaching out to her out of the blackness. She just had to hold on.

Leaving the curtains open she lay down on the bed, holding tight to Amira's unicorn. That was all she needed to do. Hold on, sleep and heal. As she drifted off to sleep she imagined the feel of Harry's arms around her, grounding her and holding her tight. He'd promised to wait.

She knew she would return.

* * *

 **There you go then, thanks for sticking with this. I always love to hear comments, good, bad or indifferent or even just an 'ahh.' All characters belong to the BBC, except Amira, she's mine and I do rather like her. Arabic help from Google Translate, so apologies for any incorrectness and a Salaam Alaikum, (Peace be with you) to you all.**


End file.
